SingleintheD

Hiatus from the hiatus

2010-04-13T13:29:00.000-07:00

It's been three months since my last entry. And for good reason. I took a hiatus from the dating scene.

Not because I found Mr. Right On. Not because the matchmaking service did it's job (it totally didn't and in fact they were featured on the Hall of Shame. See the video below). And certainly not because I had some great epiphany. I just took a break to think about what I wanted for myself and my life.

For the past three months I've been working, traveling and researching business opportunities - typical doings of a single professional. I also went on a date. Not a great date but I tried. But did I give up? No. I wanted to. I wanted to badly but I decided that I would give it a try again.

I thought I'd be a dating pessimist, but actually I'm an optimist. I have a half-full approach to the cup of love and life. And that's the best advice I can give. Forget what people say. Follow your own instinct. Don't give up! Do you give up on finding a job because the economy is slow? You sure don't. Do you give up on finding the perfect pair of shoes to match your outfit? No, you keep going until you find those Manolo peep-toe pumps that would make Carrie Bradshaw envious. So do the same for love. Keep at it until you find the perfect match - or a least one that fits.

EVENTS TO NOTE
Future Wife Party?
http://www.getwifey.com/
Yes, that's right. Ladies if you want a guy to put a ring on it, I guess this would be an appropriate event. I received an email about this May 7th event from my mentor and friend. It's worth checking out. Seems better than speed dating. What do you have to lose? Fellas are invited too. Sign up to play the dating game! Check it out!

NEWS TO VIEW
Check me out on Fox 2 Detroit. Interactions Dating joins the Hall of Shame. http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/dpp/news/hall_of_shame/daters-no-cupid-at-matchmaking-service-100316

New Year - New (dating) Attitude

2010-01-21T13:49:00.000-08:00

Cheers! We made it. 2010 is in full swing and so is my dating life, but that is no thanks to the less than stellar service I received from Interactions Dating in Lathrup Village. Yes. I called them out. Since signing up with the so-called match-making service back in November, I received one match and he was a total mismatch.

But that too shall pass.

I decided to take matters into my own hands and try to find love on my own. I went on two dates - one in December and one in January. So far I haven't met "the one," but I am encouraged that I'm meeting nice guys who are gentlemen like and considerate.

I co-organize singles events for a social group in the Detroit area. Every now and then I meet nice guys through this group. But I decided to give online dating another shot. Yes, I'm going retro with the dating sites but now I have a new attitude and doing things my way!

Sometimes you have to take a chance and just do it. Forget what people say or think. Do what feels right for you!

I'm checking out free sites like Plenty of Fish and seem to meet a mix of freaks, geeks and good guys. There is inconsistency in the messages I get, but I love it because 1) It's Free and 2) I get to block people I don't like.

Last year I was inspired after reading about actress Essence Atkins, star of Half & Half, who met her husband on Match.com. I found a free trial coupon and now I am testing the waters of Match for the next 5 days.

Let's see where this road takes me.

Check back for my Valentine's Week update!

Celebrating Solo

2009-12-22T21:19:00.000-08:00

Every time I watch those ads for Kay Jewelers I roll my eyes. You know the "every kiss begins with Kay" commercials. Nice tagline but enough already. Stop making Christmas look like Valentines. It's already enough that I spend the holidays going to the movies! Geez.

I thought that my match-making service would make something happen and I am disappointed to report that so far, no good. They matched me with someone who is afraid of heights. WTH? Come on. I love traveling and roller coasters. This 36-year-old father of one has never flown and probably only enjoys the carousel. Unbelieveable. I could have met this "winner" on my own!

Am I being too judgemental? Too impatient and intolerant?

I called the company and I am still awaiting their feedback. After 30 hours, no phone call back. I have to hope that things will get better. If they don't, I can only imagine writing this same blog next Christmas.

Anyway I want to wish everyone a happy holiday season. Whether you celebrated Hanukkah, Christmas or Kwanzaa, I hope you are inspired. Enjoy the rest of 2009 - single, married or somewhere in between!

Meet Your Match

2009-12-17T19:42:00.000-08:00

After waiting several weeks to be introduced to a match, I received a call from Mr. Ty. Finally- the match making service has done its job.

I was pleasantly surprised to hear from this guy. He's not what I've been used to dating but perhaps that's a good thing. I haven't been the most proficient in the mate selection process. However, I am getting better. In fact, I went and hired the specialists!

I am working toward a productive 2010. From my career to my personal life, I have ambitious goals. I am working toward doing the things I've never done in order to get the things I've never had.

Some people have told me: "When you're not looking, you'll find that perfect person." I've come to think that this is the biggest crock of crap I've heard in my life. And it's mostly said by SINGLE people who once upon a time were in a relationship (but not currently).

I don't understand why people are so passive when it comes to finding love and satisfying relationships. I really don't get it.

Tough Love

I've been watching season 2 of VH1's "Tough Love." I am addicted to this show, which is hosted by Steven Ward of the Philadephia-based Master Matchmakers company. Steve gives it to the ladies straight - no chaser. He doesn't beat around the bush at all and sometimes that is what we need; someone to tell it like it is.

From "He's Just Not That Into You" to "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man," there are so many resources out there for singles. We just have to be willing to try something different. Let's not continue the insanity. No more doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Time to move forward and move on!

You're still single??

2009-12-06T21:04:00.000-08:00

If you’re single and reading this blog, I’m sure at least once in your life you’ve been asked “Why are you still single?” I cringe when asked this, especially when they throw in the STILL part. Like there is some deadline. Like I’ve lost the race. The race to where?

So what’s your answer? Do you reply back like a smart ass with something like: “Why are you still bald?” or “Why are you still an @$$hole?” lol. Okay so that’s not constructive but it feels good.

Last month, I was on a date with a nice guy I’ll call “Jamie.” I met “Jamie” at a bar. He was there alone and so was I. He was friendly, quiet and gentleman like. For some reason I pick the silent types. I’m trying to get away from this – trust me! Anyway, “Jamie” and I were on this wonderful date having a half bottle of wine when he asked me: So “why are you single?” And before I could answer he answered for me.

He said “I know why: because you won’t settle. You have standards.” He went on to tell me that I should be proud to be single. Wow. Really? In other words, some people tend to lower their standards to not be alone. Instead, I have faith that there is someone out there who is worth the wait. Really?

Yes, really. There is someone. No scratch that, there are several ONES out there who could be a great match for me. And as “Jamie” suggests, I will wait. “Jamie” wasn’t that dude for me, but he inspired me. So in turn, I hope reading this blog inspires you. I hope that as you follow my adventures in love, dating and romance that you find something for yourself. We’re in this together!

Where are all the men in this town?

2009-11-28T19:58:00.000-08:00

I'm a huge fan of Shakira. Mostly her hypnotic moves, but every now and then she writes a song that inspires my thoughts. So when my friend "Elle" sent me a link to a review of her new album, "She Wolf," I had to take a listen.

Shakira stated that her latest album is dedicated to the ladies. The single ladies - which includes me! I can so relate to the lyrics of "Where are all the men in this town?" I have profiles set up on online dating sites. I even tried E-Harmony. And of course as you have read, I signed up for a matchmaking service. Well I am still waiting to be matched. I've been checking my mail daily to see if my letter of introduction has arrived.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Hopefully the saying is true - "Good things come to those who wait." I surely have waited. It's a challenge finding a guy in Michigan. I mean I've met nice dudes here and there in passing but no one that has touched, moved or inspired me. Well kind of, but he comes with some extra luggage (kids and an ex-wife).

I asked myself "Where are all the men in this town?" even today. I'm sure there are compatible ones out there. Perhaps I'll continue to expand my search. Perhaps into Canada, the UK, Asia or the Caribbean. I'll stay open minded and as far my man plan, I'll stick with it and keep hope alive as I await my introduction letter.

*Photos of me around the world. Reminds me of a Lisa Stansfield song. Been around and still looking for my baby! lol.

Living Single in the D - For dating voyeurs

2009-11-23T07:53:00.000-08:00

I've heard it all:

"When you're not looking, Mr. Right will show up."

"Seek and ye shall find."

"When one door closes another will open."

But when does one finally take responsibility for her own happiness? In my search for Mr. Right and Mr. Better than the Previous Ones, I've found that taking advice from friends, family and even myself, just doesn't cut it.

That is why I'm writing this blog, to chronicle my dating adventures. As a co-organizer of social events across metro Detroit, I think this blog will be helpful for me and the many singles out there trying to find love.

For me, all roads led to hiring a professional matchmaking service. After watching epsiodes of "Matched in Manhattan" and "Millionaire Matchmaker," I thought I'd give it a shot here in the Detroit metro area. I never thought it'd come to this but I'm taking a chance.

Why not!

Corporations seeking qualified employees hire recruiters. Does anyone tell them to just sit back and wait patiently until a hard-working, dedicated and skilled candidate magically appears at their office suite? Of course not.

I'm taking the same approach as a corporation. I am a 30-year-old single woman seeking a qualified man 28-40. What are the qualifications? I'm happy you asked:

Single

Educated

Ambitious

Good sense of humor

Open minded

Attractive

Non smoker, non substance abuser

This generic description is one in which thousands of single ladies can probably endorse. It's just an abbreviated list of qualities I'm looking for in a potential mate. Let's see if my matchmaker can help me scout out a good one!